Snot Fun to be Sick
by tiny.coco.chan
Summary: Hinata Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha know that love isn't in the air in Konoha; it's the flu. *SasuHina OneShot*


******Warning: Slightly Corny/Cheesey Goodness**

**...because it's been forever since I've written a OneShot.**

**Since I'm not a volcano, I can't stay dormant forever!**

**(Okay, bad joke, and this story is full of 'em, because that's just how I am.)**

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Hinata Hyuuga didn't know whether her face turned red due to the flu or to the fact that her sneezes were so embarrassing. Most expected her sneezes to be as dainty as lilies. They sounded like the tinkle of a giggling princess, right?

Wrong.

_Dead _wrong.

She sounded like the lovechild of a dying goose and a pregnant elephant. Hanabi always mocked her, and Neji couldn't help but smirk. Every time she sneezed, it surpassed Naruto in being both loud and obnoxious. Of course, she never wanted anybody to ever hear her sneeze, especially Naruto. That would be pure humiliation.

Fortunately, only Shino Aburame happened to be in her room at the time. Being an introvert himself, he never made fun of her. He handed her a tissue as she broke into a coughing fit. It shook her entire frail body. After she practically coughed out her lungs, she sunk her head into her pillow. She felt absolutely terrible. Her fever peaked at 102 degrees Fahrenheit, yet she shivered under three heavy quilts.

The only things worse than the flu were being yelled at by her father and cookies with raisins.

"Gomen," she apologized. "I don't think I'll be able to go on a mission with Team 8 today."

"I'll tell Kurenai-sensei and Kiba," Shino nodded.

Hinata threw her used tissue at the trash can next to her bed.

And missed. Again.

"Gomen," she mumbled as she crawled out of the covers to retrieve the tissue.

As soon as she stood up, the world started spinning around her. It was as if a vortex of colors and stars orbited her. Feeling a bit nauseous, she stumbled forward. The tissue on the floor suddenly split in three, and she didn't know which one to pick up. As she reached over for the one on the left, Hinata fell gracelessly the ground with a splat.

Shino helped her up. He tucked her under the covers while five of his insects scurried over to the lone tissue. They then flew it over and dropped it in the trash can.

"You should get some rest. It wouldn't be wise to overexert yourself," Shino instructed.

"Okay," she nodded. "Shino-kun, could you pass me a tissue, please? I think I'm going to-"

* * *

"ACHOO!"

"Haha, Sasuke! You sound like a duck when you sneeze!" Naruto laughed.

Sasuke Uchiha sent the dobe a death look. However, he failed to look even close to menacing because he felt awful. The influenza had been going around Konoha. Sasuke never got sick, so he didn't bother getting the vaccine either. However, Fate wanted a reason to laugh at him. Now Sasuke had the flu and a dobe over at his house. A dobe that continued to laugh at him too.

"I mean, it's bad enough that your hair looks like a duck butt," Naruto informed him, "but now you're starting to sound like one too! Maybe Orochimaru had a duck fetish-"

"Shut up," Sasuke clenched his teeth.

It had been two years since the Snake Sannin had died, and Sasuke didn't want to think of the past. He just settled back into Konoha last year. It was bad enough that hardly anybody trusted him anymore, but constantly hearing Naruto's lame jokes made it worse.

"Look, just tell Kakashi that I'll have to skip on today's mission," Sasuke stated.

During the year he returned, Sasuke and Naruto climbed the ranks to become Jonin. Even though they were all technically on the same level now, they were still a part of Team 7. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakshi-sensei. Just like old times.

"Sure. This means I get Sakura all to myself," Naruto grinned.

"That thought just made me sicker," the Uchiha muttered.

"You're just jealous that I don't sound like a duck," Naruto laughed. "Well, I'll see you later. Have fun quacking!"

Before Sasuke could kill the dobe, he-

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Hinata blew her nose and returned to reading her book. She had been in bed all day studying for the Jonin Exams. TenTen lent her _The Exciting History of the Shuriken_. The book lied; it wasn't exciting at all. However, Neji said that the written part of the Jonin Exams was even more intense than its Chuunin counterpart. So Hinata spent her time reading TenTen's book and the latest issue of _Genjutsu and You_, Kurenai-sensei's favorite magazine.

"_A basic shuriken is made up of four points, which stand for the four directions: north, south, east, and west. Legend has it that the shuriken was born when four kunai points from each of the four directions came together to the middle of the world. It is said that when a shinobi brings a shuriken to this same spot, they will never miss a target again."_

She felt like falling asleep; even watching reality shows—the ones that involved whiny contestants who were too lazy to earn money by getting a job— was more interesting than this book. Hinata felt her eyelids droop. Slowly, she succumbed to sleep…

Until she had urge to sneeze.

Hinata reached for the tissue box, but it was empty. Since her father kicked her out of the Hyuuga compound, she now lived in a stuffy, old apartment. However, it was _her _stuffy, old apartment, and she liked it. What she didn't like right now was that it was void of tissues.

Going against Shino's wishes, she rolled out of bed. The world spun around her, but at least it flew at a decreased velocity than earlier. She suddenly felt her urge to sneeze grow until she finally-

* * *

"ACHOO!"

After somehow swallowing down Sakura's alleged chicken noodle soup, he could now walk around without his muscles aching too much. Sasuke tore apart the entire Uchiha compound looking for a tissue. He checked every room twice, but there weren't any in sight. Now that he thought about it, the last person seen with the tissue box had been Naruto.

The dobe always had a habit of "borrowing" Sasuke's things. Last week it had been his toaster, which Sasuke didn't entirely mind; it always burnt his toast, even when he set it on low. However, taking his tissue box could not go unpunished.

"You are so going to get it, Naruto," Sasuke muttered.

Sasuke walked out of the compound to go to the store Kunai Kuts with "prices Kut so low, it must be genjutsu!" They boasted the cheesiest slogan, but it was just a three minute walk away. As he silently walked, it started to drizzle. It wasn't enough for him to get too wet, but it bombarded One. Drop. At. A. Time. Like Chinese water torture, but worse.

He decided to ignore the pain in his legs and ran towards the store. When he finally arrived at the entrance to Kunai Kuts, he broke into a coughing fit. His lungs and throat burned, like when he attempted fire-style jutsu for the first time.

"Naruto," he hissed under his breath.

The dobe would pay for taking his tissues, all right. Right after he-

* * *

"ACHOO!"

A nearby customer looked at Hinata funny, as if that honking sneeze could never come from a girl as small as she. Hinata blushed from embarrassment and continued hunting for the tissue aisle. Kunai Kuts happened to be the largest store in Konoha. She loved the prices, but the building was so big that it should come with a map.

She passed the cereal aisle. Choco Chakra Crunch was on sale for only a dollar a box! It tasted delicious, and it also increased chakra for three hours. Choco Chakra Crunch was handy for the stomach and for battles. She snatched a box and kept searching for tissues.

Hinata passed the free bread samples (after snatching a piece or two). When she bit into a piece of free bread, she realized that she could just use her Byakugan to locate the tissues.

"Byakugan!" she murmured, activating her Kekkei Genkai.

It was located on the other side of the store, and only one box remained. She smiled and headed towards it. While she focused on the tissues, her nose twitched and-

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Since he frequently visited Kunai Kuts, Sasuke knew the exact location of every aisle. The tissue aisle hid at the back of the store between the toilet paper aisle and the dairy section. Using his speed, he headed toward his destination.

He spotted a lone tissue box and reached out to grab it…

…at the same time as Hinata Hyuuga.

Both of them had one hand on the tissue box. Neither of them made a move to snatch it from the other, but neither of them retreated either. Instead, they locked eyes for a moment. Immediately, Sasuke began to cough, and Hinata began to sneeze.

The reality of the situation soaked in once their fits ended. The both of them were sick, and the both of them needed the last tissue box.

"Hyuuga," Sasuke nodded, his way of greeting her.

"Uchiha-san," she bowed her head.

Both of their hands still held onto the box.

"Are you not feeling well?" he asked, although he knew the answer already.

"I have the flu and have to stay home from my mission," she said softly. "What about you?"

"Same," he stated.

This small talk did nothing to their positions. Neither of them wanted to give up, but neither of them wanted to make the first move either. Sasuke smirked. He never expected the Hinata to be so… stubborn.

"Hyuuga," he began, "I know how we can settle this."

"How?" she questioned.

He looked her in the eye and stated, "We can-"

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Hinata felt absolutely miserable; she was absolutely sure of that. Her eyes burned from the constant sneezing, and now she had a pounding headache. However, Sasuke was in the same boat. His already pale skin looked sickly as he blew his nose.

It turned out that he ended up paying for the last tissue box, and Hinata bought her Choco Chakra Crunch. Once they finished purchasing their items, they sat on the bench outside of Kunai Kuts. The extended roof above them kept them dry as they watched the pouring rain. She loved the scent of fresh rain, but the flu impeded her sense of smell.

She sniffled and reached for another tissue. The box sat between Sasuke and her, and the both of them took turns using it. None of them said a word. Only the sounds of coughing, sneezing, and rain filled the silence.

Hinata opened her box of Choco Chakra Crunch and offered some to Sasuke. He said he hated sweets, but took a handful anyway. Unfortunately, a sneeze that shook her entire body caused her to drop the box. The contents spilled all over the floor. Without a word, Sasuke entered Kunai Kuts again and came back five minutes later with another box of Choco Chakra Crunch. She smiled and dug into the cereal, suddenly famished.

"Is it that good?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

Hinata nodded with a smile. She had crammed so much cereal into her mouth that she ended up looking like a squirrel. After she ate approximately a third of the box, she noticed she felt a bit better, perhaps due to the increase of chakra from the cereal.

She could feel Sasuke stare at her, but she pretended not to notice. Instead she reached for the tissue box and-

* * *

"ACHOO!"

They simultaneously sneezed. Sasuke took the last tissue from the box, but Hinata looked like she was in desperate need of one. She actually looked— dare he say it— cute when she searched his ebony eyes with her wide, lavendar ones.

"Hyuuga," he smirked. "I know how we can settle this."

"How?" she asked for the second time that day.

He stated, "You can have the last tissue, but only if you-"

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Hinata erupted into a series of sneezes into the last tissue.

Yes, she still felt miserable, but misery loves company.

And kissing Sasuke Uchiha.

* * *

**I wish good health and happiness to you all this flu (and winter) season! ^_^**


End file.
